9 December 2002
This page is no longer being maintained. Please read this entry for more information.
How to be a DBID - 7:21 a.m.
Introduction to DBID-ism
The term "DBID" is one term to which I refer to myself. As you can tell, I use it fairly often in my entries, and it's part of my AIM screen name (CharterDBID5002). For those of you who do not already know, DBID stands for Dumb Blonde In Disguise. I created it based on the idea that you can be dumb but not blonde, because if you know me, you know that I am NOT blonde and that I would look TERRIBLE as such.
There, with that said, there are only two qualifications that you must meet before becoming a DBID yourself.
How to Observe DBID-ism
1. This is the more obvious of the two, but not fitting this rule disregards the entire purpose for the DBIDs in the first place. That would be, You must not be a blonde. Natural, summer streak, totally fake, I don't care. If you have blonde hair on your head, whether it's because of heredity or dumping a pile of chemicals on your head, we don't want you. Not to sound mean, but come on, that's kind of the point, right?
2. Here's where judging gets tricky. If you don't meet rule #1, then you may as well stop here, tear your hair out, dye your hair to a non-blonde color, and then see me. Or you can just go around and say, "Oh, look at me, I really am a blonde, so I can't be a DBID...ever." All right, here it is. While you do not have the blonde hair (Sporadic blonde highlights are acceptable as long as you fit the second rule, but guess who gets to decide that?), you must have the blonde brain. That's right. You're dumb but not blonde, hence explaining why I myself am a DBID. You must have at least one DBID moment (or blonde moment, if you prefer), and you must tell me about it. Then I judge if you're eligible or not. If you are, hooray! You're in! If not...well, let's get to work on that.
And once you are a DBID, the perks are endless. You get to go to the natural blondes and tell them that you don't have to be blonde to be dumb. The brain and the hair just got mixed up. And you get to worship the other DBIDs in their DBID moments (and get worshiped during yours). Trust me, being a DBID means having the time of your life. Until...
Dismissal from DBID-ism
Yes, you can be kicked out of the DBIDs. The most obvious of these reasons (and the reason Alison Lowe was kicked out) is excessive intelligence. If you get too smart, you're out. It's that simple. You can also get kicked out by dissing the deities of the DBIDs (more on that in a minute), but nobody has been kicked out for that reason yet.
Now...The Deities of the DBIDs
Okay, so we don't exactly have gods like the Greeks and Romans did, but in the DBID world, we have some special DBIDs you have to know about. (You will be tested on this, so read carefully. If you score too low, you will be gagged with a green pitchfork.)
~!~There's the CharterDBID. Yes, that would be yours truly. Read this site to find out (almost) everything you would ever want to know about me and then some.
~!~And there's The KingDBID. That would be Robert Knight. He has this title from being the first male DBID.
~!~Can't forget our QueenDBID. That would be Dee. I gave her this title after we were looking through this magazine thing at her house, and we saw this thing that said "Queen Bee". Naturally, I thought about the DBIDs, and I started cracking up because Robert is the King, but the Queen and King aren't a couple, as you would think. Don't worry, there's a very good reason for that. So there's her title.
~!~We also have the Princess DBID. That's Alex Lewis. She got this title while hanging out in the Bat Cave one day after school, and she asked if she could be the Princess DBID. I said sure, and there she goes.
~!~Of course, there's our DBID deity. That would be Mrs. Jackson, the Nerd Squad director.
More to come...
If you feel as if you qualify, contact me!