13 June 2005
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Vegetative Future? Dream? - 10:22 a.m.
I'm starting to wonder how this vegetative state will affect me when I leave for college. In the past (including last year) I have been able to jump back into the school routine every year. This year, however, there is no routine. This is something completely different, something I haven't encountered before.
I think shopping for the necessities and packing my books and finding a padlock for my bedroom door (so Jeffrey can't take my bed like he threatened to) will jerk me back to reality. At the very least, it will give me something to do.
Or will it? It will expose my room to some rather vulnerable things. I received some really pretty graduation gifts that serve more as decorations than anything else. The problem is that there's no real purpose in taking them with me because you have to hang most of them on the wall with nails. That would be bad. I would kind of like to get that room deposit back in the end.
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I had a dream last night that I had received about a thousand papers from the college. I was looking through Mum's mail when I found them. Even though all this mail was really for me, it was addressed to "The Parents Of". I was starting to read through it when I realised that I couldn't read through all of it before 26 August (the day I leave).
I don't know why this shook me so badly except that I haven't received too many of those summer papers that most schools send out. That's kind of disturbing. But according to my discussions with my future classmates, they haven't either. I guess this is odd because some of my former classmates who are going to other schools have already scheduled their fall classes, and we don't do that until we go down there!
To Do:
1. Thank-you notes
2. Read
3. Write
4. Breathe
5. stop worrying