I'll sleep when I'm dead

28 October 2002

This page is no longer being maintained. Please read this entry for more information.

Dickinson, somersault, Twister - 9:43 p.m.

I found a poem by Emily Dickinson when I was reading ahead in Julius Caesar last night and got really bored:

"Heart! We Will Forget Him!"
By Emily Dickinson

Heart! We will forget him!
You and I--tonight!
You may forget the warmth he gave--
I may forget the light!

When you have done, pray tell me
That I may straight begin!
Haste! lest while you're lagging
I remember him!

And I thought, what a coincidence. I read in the "About the Author" part that Emily withdrew from the world because of an unrequited world. It made me wonder if I was doing the same thing. Okay, so he doesn't love me back. But does that give me a reason to get away from everyone? It's as if I'm asking myself if it was better to obsess or to withdraw. Either way, I lose.

He told me today during lunch about his somersault. I asked him if he flipped out on Saturday night, because according to DeAnna, he did turn a somersault when he found out they won. He said yes, he did. I told him that she told me and that she also said that I should have been there. Goodness, I've heard that quite a few times over the past few days. He made that one more.

"Well, you should have," he said. "And what's your excuse, besides the Internet?"

Ha. Actually, to set the record straight, it had nothing whatsoever to do with the Internet. That made it humorous. It was about seeing him. I told him that he would have to read Tail to find out why.

He said that he already did, and then he asked when I wrote about it. I told him it was Sunday, around eight or nine, and then he realized that no, he didn't read it. So he'll get to find out the real reason. I was going to tell him then, but I just couldn't. It was like baring my soul to bleed. I didn't want to break down. Besides, how would I have told him that, anyway? It would be a lot easier if he just read it and interpreted it in his own way.

Now wouldn't it?

He came to the Cave after school before the match against Ridgeland because band practice was canceled. (Guess that's their reward for winning...they didn't have practice last Monday either because they won.) But anyway, he was over there, and I was wondering why he decided to show up all of a sudden. He said he didn't have anything better to do. We were talking and watching Keith get frustrated at playing Hearts (and Solitaire, and FreeCell, but he used the cheat code for FreeCell). Austin and Randi were goofing off in the back. The Bat had said, "No sex unless I can participate!" Concerning them, that is. Anyway, Austin was lying on some of the desks and Randi was on top of him, and then I thought of something oh-so-ironic...like Twister! "Hey, Randi," I said. "Having fun playing Twister?" The Twister pun being that Austin has the Twister shirt, the one with all the red, blue, green, and yellow spots on it. (And it's legal, too, thanks to that collar.) If only he was wearing it that day. That would have been priceless.

Guess I better post before my connection gets knocked off again. It's even worse tonight. I have to reconnect at EVERY SINGLE FREAKING SCREEN. Darn, it's frustrating.